Thursday, 30 April 2009

Would you, though?

The following just turned up in my Inbox and I had to share.

Austin Healey and his twin daughters Bibi-Dee and Betsy are launching the new Huggies Little Walkers® Denim nappy pants, available for a limited time only from May 1.

Quote from Austin: "Huggies Little Walkers® Denim is a really fun way to give my girls a bit of rock-star style! Bibi-Dee and Betsy have been sofa surfing for some time now and it's been great to watch them take their first steps. This summer, thanks to limited edition Huggies Little Walkers® Denim they can practice every step, twist and dance move whilst looking very cute - in fact we can all rock out together - they even like my taste in music! Little Walkers® Denim is clearly the new favourite in our house."

I can't really decide which is worse. Denim nappies. Or the names Bibi Dee and Betsy...

You can watch more of this drivel at

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Drinking while up the duff, anyone?

Interesting to read about that pregnant woman who was thrown out of a pub when staff spotted her sipping beer.
Caroline Williams, 26, who is 23 weeks pregnant, said she felt "angry and humiliated" after being told to leave the Sussex Cricketer pub in Hove at the weekend.
She had drunk one pint of lager already when the manageress refused to serve her friend another half pint, also meant for Caroline.
The group of friends left it at that and went to sit down again - but then a beady eyed staff member spotted Caroline taking a crafty sip from her mate's glass and that was it.
She was man handled out of the bar like a common drunk. Which must have made an engaging spectacle for onlookers.
"I don't think that one person should have the right to impose their views on everybody else," said Caroline - who has correctly pointed out that drinking while pregnant is not at the moment in any way illegal.
Now you might have your views about whether this woman was irresponsible to ignore current UK guidelines, which say it's best to drink no alcohol at all while pregnant due to possible harmful effects on the foetus.
But the last time I looked, it should not be up to pub staff to become self made guardians of this advice.
Indeed, if pub workers do consider the health and well being of their punters to be so very important, they'd better start pointing out that drinking alcohol can be detrimental to one's health every time someone asks for a pint. Even if they're not up the duff.
But the thing that struck me as particular hilarious about Caroline Williams' story is the way she was whining on about "never being so humiliated in her life" etc.
So what does she do after this terrible incident?
Legs it to the papers with her story and has her photo splashed all over the news detailing every excruciating detail.
Yes, dear. Very humiliating.

Thursday, 26 February 2009

Perfect for Bad Muthas

If you fancy taking the kids somewhere they can run around for hours keeping themselves entertained while you have a cuppa and read the paper, Bad Mutha would highly recommend

Came across it by accident while on a shopping trip to all those spiffing new shops near IKEA. Except don' t try and get in via the retail park. Somebody has sensibly designed the new facility so that you can see a tempting glimpse of all the fabulous play zones inside, but there is absolutely no clue about access.

If you want to avoid half an hour of walking round in circles, let me offer you the following useful information. You have to go in the car back onto the main road towards Eastwood, taking the next left to Giltbrook Industrial Estate. Follow the road round and go past the new Screwfix unit until you can go no further. You'll see the car park and entrance.

Another word of warning though - the car park's a bit teeny. I can see that causing severe problems at weekends and during the hols.

DD2 says it's great there (in toddler language anyway) with an unexpectedly large and challenging area for pre-schoolers - and you get free drinks for the £4 entrance price. Bargain.

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Words fail me

Happened across this article on The Guardian website the other day and thought I'd share:

Does it make you wonder (a) what motivates someone to write such unbalanced drivel and (b) how the poor, thick mums she was "stuck with" at those parties managed to actually stay awake instead of falling asleep with boredom at her very presence.


Thursday, 15 January 2009

A kid is for life...

My sister said something that really wound me up the other day.
“Ooh it’s just like having kids when you’ve got dogs isn’t it?”
I know she was only trying to get across the point that her dogs are hard work.
But it’s NOT the same as having kids. Not at all.
For instance, when she was making this observation, she was sitting in my house while her dogs were at home on their own.
Much as I’d like to go out and leave my kids at home alone while I swanned off to have tea and cake in someone else’s gaff, I can’t ever do that.
Not without getting a criminal record anyway.
She’s also got a job four days a week.
And funnily enough, I’ve never seen her forking out squillions of quid a week to put her dogs in a nursery while she’s there.
She can nip to the pub, or the cinema or clubbing whenever she feels like it without having to take her pooches with her.
I haven’t been to the pub, cinema or clubbing for years.
Dogs don’t keep you awake much at night crying because their back molars are coming through either.
DD2 was wailing none stop from 10.30pm to 4am the other night.
If she was a puppy, I could have shoved her in the outhouse and left her to it.
But being a human, I had try and offer some comfort.
And I had to put up with her constant moans about wanting daddy instead of boring old me too. (Daddy was indisposed with a case of man flu that night - grrr).
Maybe there are a few similarities between kids and dogs in terms of dealing with poo.
And you can use similar disciplinary measures when they’re naughty etc.
But let’s just be clear.
Dogs are generally speaking a nice, if a little time-consuming, distraction for folk who want an extra interest at home.
Kids are a life sentence.

Thursday, 18 December 2008

The forgotten prezzies of Christmas past...

If you're having a major stress-out about trying to buy your kids that "perfect" toy to make their face light up for Christmas, here's a thought.
Can you remember what you bought them last Christmas?
More to the point, can they remember?
Go on, I dare you. Ask them: "What did Santa leave you under the tree last year?"
I bet you all you'll get is a few blank looks and a possible: "Cadbury's Selection Box."
They won't recall the expensive Robo-raptor thing that only came out of its box the once on Christmas afternoon and then remained hidden under a bed until you found it while cleaning last week.
They won't remember the talking Iggle Piggle or the camera which stopped working after half an hour because the batteries packed in either.
And neither will you.
It makes you wonder why you bother buying them stuff at all.
And then there's your other half. Can you remember what you bought him/her?
I haven't a flipping clue, but I bet he took it back and exchanged it for the next brand up just like he always does.
I quite like doing a bit of Christmas shopping and wrapping up boxes and putting them under the tree on Christmas Eve.
But I refuse to get in a state of utter panic about it like some people.
The next time you feel yourself getting anxious because you haven't managed to afford one of those must-have life size talking dogs from John Lewis, take heart.
It would probably just have ended up as a handy place to fling clothes by about January 6.
Merry Christmas!

Thursday, 20 November 2008

Gifts for teachers? Eh?

There was a woman on the bus the other day stressing about what she was going to get her DD’s teacher for Christmas.
Would chocolates be all right or would the teacher be fed up if she received 30 boxes of Maltesers?
Should she suggest that the other parents club together to get one big thing?
Should she get vouchers for somewhere or was that a bit off?
I sat transfixed and listened to this enlightening conversation, which she was having with a slightly bored looking friend.
And it suddenly stuck me.
Are you supposed to get a Christmas present for your child’s teacher then?
Because in all the year’s my 12-year-old DD has been going to school, I’ve never once bought her teacher a gift for Xmas.
Indeed thinking about it, I haven’t so much as given a card in previous years.
Does this make me a terrible person?
To be fair, I’ve never bought anything for the woman at Tesco’s, the postman, the bin man or the chap at the petrol station either.
But you’re not really expected to buy anything for them.
Are you?
Why should teachers particularly expect a gift anyway?
They’re only doing their job.
Nobody buys me a gift just for doing my job.
I wonder has this lack of present-buying affected my DD’s marks at school?
Or maybe the teachers have all got together in the staff room to slag me off behind my back.
My point is, with two kids of my own, plus four sisters and two brothers who have about seven million kids between them, I think I have enough people to buy prezzies for at Christmas.
Besides, DD is at secondary school now which means she has lots and lots of teachers every day.
I couldn’t possibly be expected to buy gifts for all of them.
Could I.....?